Wednesday, November 23, 2005

The Cabal of Morons

"We cannot go any further, the limit has been breached!"
"No! We must go further, there can be no limits when we are the
(cue theme musik)

Actors of History!"

"Oh, yeah. Uh... Which way we goin again?"

....chapter 2, in which we join our hero...

Jason and his Petronaughts aimed their SUV at the desert horizon.
"To victory!" They cried, mad drunk on benzene and coke.
They hurtled forwards, spewing foul exhaust behind them, soon to be lifeless bodies of poor children bouncing off their titanium logo-encrusted hood.
More and more forwards they hurtled. Ever onwards, hurltling and hurlting and hurtling.
"The horizon, muttered one of them, "It does not get closer."
Bounce! went the traitor, bounce, bounce, and into the dust he receded.
"To victory!!" They cried, and one bruised his head as the Grand Old SUV hit a pothole, had IEDs and RPGs thrust rudely at it.
"Man the gates! The liberals attack!" they cried, and the SUV hurtled on.
"To victory!" they cried, and surely there were cheers. Ringing and the benzene-coke haze made them hard to make out, and of course the windows must be tinted for security, but surely, surely there was cheering!
"To victory!" they cried.
"Aye! Cap'n! There's a fierce storm a'brewin!" came the report, and sure enough, the horizon could no longer be seen. "But, we're lost!" cried a traitor, and he disappeared into the howling winds.
"To victory!" they cried. "Who here needs a compass?" snarled the dreaded first mate. "We have a moral compass, and we can smell victory!"
"To victory!!!" they roared with their power- WHAM! "Man overboard!" went the cry, and "Fitzmas! Dear God, oh dear God!" went the praying.
The praying and wailing went on for some time. It was a time, a time, no small time, without a cheer. The horizon could not be seen! "The first mate!, Oh God!" went one, and it was true, he had his thumscrew kit out and some other things-
"To victory!" they cried, and "Oh, God! To victory!!" be continued...


At 11:49 PM, November 23, 2005, Anonymous panoptican said...

This makers a whole lot of sense set to Melt-Banana. How is it though that this Fitzmas fellow came to be? That's what I wonder.

To victory!


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